Bruised But Not Defeated: How I Overcame Temptation on Valentine's Day

BRUISED, BUT NOT DEFEATED: How I Overcame Temptation on Valentine’s Day

“Phew! I made it. I overcame. Praise JESUS…”

Everything in me defied work that Thursday morning. It wasn’t like I had a valentine or expected to receive any gift; but my kitchen begged for help and I had chosen that day – a day of love for many, as a day of chores for me. So, when the driver showed up that morning to take me to work, I dismissed him. I had my own small-scale business, and I was the boss of me anyway. Little did I know that the reality of “an idle man is the devil’s workshop” was about to strike. 

Isaac and I just started dating. You see, we have known each other since we were eight, and we have been good friends since then, but not until recently did we begin to get romantically attracted to each other. Like the 27 year-old adults that we are, we had talked about it and realized that we are each not ready for a committed relationship, so we thought it best to keep our friendship kicking and our relationship with God alive, and dating to the minimum. We made certain rules, the most important being not visiting with each other in private places. We thought we were doing fine until I gave place to the devil. Yes! I had given place to the devil by letting Isaac know that I was staying home that day. 

He pleaded with me to come spend the day at his, and I said a blunt ‘NO’. He thought I was being lazy to get out of the house. While that was one reason, that was definitely not the main reason for my refusal to go see him. Anyway, so he volunteered to come over to mine, and to that request, I again blurted out a firm ‘NO’. Of course, he was confused and nicely, I did explain to him the reason for my decision, reminding him of our most important rule. He said OK. And I was happy.

I reaffirmed my decision to myself and said “Yes! I did the right thing. No! I will not go there. Satan cannot cheat me this time. Didn’t the Bible say flee every appearance of evil?” Smiling to myself, I repeated, “Tumini, you’ve done the right thing.” What I hadn’t considered is that while I celebrated my victory as I “successfully” fled the appearance of evil, evil itself had borrowed an extra set of wings in pursuit of my soul, and was determined to catch up with me.

Having read through my devotional, I finally got out of bed at 10:00 am, brushed my teeth and headed for the kitchen to do some chores. After all, that was my sole excuse for skipping work that day. I wasn’t ten minutes in the kitchen when I heard a knock on the door. I quickly turned off the faucet, wiped my wet hands on my cotton night dress (which I planned to put aside for laundry), and ran to the door. And behold, it was Isaac! Out of shock, I immediately closed the door.

‘What is going on?’ I wondered. ‘Does it mean that while I celebrated my flight from evil’s appearance; while I blessed God in my heart for helping me; while I raised wine glasses in the spirit with imaginary angels to mark my success; while I patted myself on the back and gave myself a high-five for a job well done, Isaac was busy being evil’s extra set of wings, and was live at my door step?’

‘Wow!’ I thought, ‘this has come to me, and I must deal with it. Oh God, help me’. I opened the door for him and gave him a sensational hug. I really didn’t want to let go. Oh yeah, Jesus was right – the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. 

I finally did let go, and headed off to the kitchen. He stayed with me about a minute or two and went into my bedroom to settle himself in front of my computer. I felt a little victorious – like a bruised wrestler who still had the upper hand in a match. At least, I was badly dressed, and doing dirty work, nothing can be attractive about me, right? Haha... Wrong!

I got done doing my work and went into the bedroom to meet him. I drew a stool from the front of my piano and sat beside him, then the touching and holding began. Uncomfortable, I stood up to go take a shower and dress up properly. I thought, “Well, this wrestler is wounded now, but I’m still doing alright, right?” Well………………………… 

I took a shower, dressed up, went back into the bedroom where he was, and this time took over the computer and acted really busy. Bad mistake! I have now learned that it is more profitable to spend your time discussing and doing reasonable things with your significant [or, as in this case will-like-to-be-significant] other than to not do anything. Feeling neglected, Isaac drew the piano stool closer and began touching my left arm, and then my face, and then my other arm, and then my belly, and then my back and I was just getting stirred up and stirred up inside – somewhere; and because I didn’t want to embarrass him and I was enjoying it [in a way], I did not stop him – rather, I reciprocated in similar kind. 

My conscience pricked and pricked me until I thought my soul was going to burst out of my body. I quickly stood up, as if in urgency. I left the bedroom and went into the bathroom. After a couple minutes, I went back into the bedroom. This time, I sat on the bed. My mood had changed, and rather than admire the guy that sat close to me, I felt disgusted. 

I had just one option. I needed to pray. So while I sat down, angry at myself, and silently mad as hell at Isaac, I talked to God. We both needed his help to deal with each other in this non-relationship that was turning into something else. Isaac noticed my mood, and out of concern, he sought to know what was going on with me. He came beside me again and was already lying on my bed, using my leg as his pillow. I looked at him, knowing what I was about to do, I felt pity for him. I really really like this guy; I didn’t want to hurt him, but to save our souls (James 1:21), I had to hurt him and hurt me (maybe). He is my very good friend, I love him, but I love my [and his] salvation more. I love God even more, and now understanding what Christ had done to save me, I was not going to compromise any longer.

I tapped Isaac on his shoulder and said boldly, firmly, and seriously “get up and leave!” At first, he was shocked, but thought I was just kidding. When he saw the seriousness in my looks, he stood up and headed for the door, while I followed closely behind him. I saw him off past the door and the burglary proof. After I had locked the burglary proof, just before he left, I told him how sorry I was. The hurt and disappointment in his eyes almost made me change my mind; but I was too determined to do the right thing even though it will cost us our friendship. 

Finally he left. I entered into the house, and sat on the couch in the anteroom. ‘Phew’ I thought ‘Bruised, but not defeated’.

Isaac and I have since resolved the issue OVER THE PHONE, of course; and he agreed never to come see me alone again. You know, I thought that he’d get angry and not want even friendship with me anymore. I was wrong. He even respects me the more. Earlier today, being a day after valentine’s, he came to see me at work and gave me two bars of chocolate and a snack… Whether it was for valentine’s or not, I don’t know and I didn’t ask. If it was for valentine’s, I don’t think it was too late. After all, some people in other parts of the world were spending their last hours of valentine’s on the morning of the 15^th day of February in my part of the world. 

A preacher once said, relationships produce power and the devil will fight any relationship that will work against his kingdom. It’s so true.

Remember that as you flee every appearance of evil, you also have to rebuke the devil so he can flee from you too.